Humans in Disguise
by Dancou-Maryuu
Summary: Hot Spot and the other Protectobots are sent to deal with a Decepticon attack, only to find that they have already left. Now, they are confronted with some of humanity's more... idiosyncratic elements.


"So what've we got?" said Hot Spot, as his Protectobots rocketed down Main Street, sirens blaring.

"'Cons showed up at the New Energy Tech Symposium at the Raines Convention Center," said Streetwise, the police car pulling up close to Hot Spot's fire truck mode so they wouldn't have to use the comlink. "Last I heard, they were smashing through walls asking for specific scientists?"

"Any names?" said Hot Spot.

"For the scientists or the 'Cons?"

"Either," Hot Spot always appreciated a full understanding of the situation before pulling into battle. That was one thing Prime had drilled into him.

"No word on which humans," said Streetwise. "But I heard of a big truck and a bunch of sports cars, so it's probably the Stunticons."

"Okay…" Hot Spot winced as they neared the Convention Center. "Blades, pull in closer. We may need Defensor on hand if the Stunticons combine."

"Wish it was the Combaticons…" grumbled the Protectobot rescue chopper as he decreased his altitude until he was right overtop his comrades.

"First Aid, get ready to attend to any wounded," continued Hot Spot. "Groove, Streetwise, and I'll keep the 'Cons heads down. Blades, stay in the air and keep an eye out for any incoming Decepticon reinforcements, but be ready to come join us if Menasor shows up. Any questions?"

"Yeah," said First Aid, the ambulance pulling up on Hot Spot's other side. "Where _are_ they?"

Hot Spot slammed the brakes on his alt mode before transforming. Indeed, there was no sign of Motormaster or any of his Stunticons, or _any_ Decepticons at all. The other Protectobots (sans Blades) transformed and stared at the crowd milling around the modernist building.

Behind his faceplate, Hot Spot's jaw mechanism dropped.

There were a number of police cars and other emergency vehicles near the building, particularly near a gaping hole in the glass wall a short distance to the left of the entrance. This sort of scene wasn't unusual after Decepticon attacks, but surrounding the Convention Center entrance and spilling into the parking lot were a cascade of what appeared to be two-legged, talking furry creatures. Most resembled earth animals, like dogs, cats, foxes, and other mammals.

"Some other kind of alien life form?" said Streetwise, rubbing his temple.

"Hang on," said Groove, the Protectobot police motorcycle stepping closer to the crowd as if to examine it. "I know what these are. They're furries."

"What." said Blades, as the chopper defied orders and landed next to his compatriots, transforming into robot mode.

"I heard Spike and Bumblebee talking about 'em about an astrocycle ago," said Groove. "They're humans that dress up as animals."

For a second, you could've heard a diode drop as the Protectobots stared at the crowd, then back to Groove.

Blades broke the silence. "…Why?"

Groove shrugged. "Even Spike didn't seem to know."

The five Autobots stood staring at the costumed crowd for a while.

"Awaiting orders," huffed Streetwise.

Hot Spot looked as though he'd been hit with Wheeljack's immobilizer.

Eventually, a human in a blue-furred husky costume approached the Protectobots, a blonde policewoman in tow. After gesturing for Blades to lower his photon pistol, Hot Spot noticed how up close, the 'husky' was definitely a costume - albeit a well-made one..

"H-hi!" First Aid knelt down to talk with the two humans. "We, uh… We understand the Decepticons were here?"

"What was your first clue, the big honkin' broken window?!" grumbled the 'husky', in defiance of the cartoonish smile on his costume's muzzle. His voice came out muffled, but Hot Spot and the others could still hear him.

"They were here a while ago," said the policewoman, turning awkwardly to the husky. "Uh, would you tell them what you told me?"

The husky dramatically swung his costumed arms out, then let them flop to his sides. "Basically, they ripped open the wall, and stomped in, demanding to know where a Doctor… O'Brian? O'Banion? Something Irish. Either way, they wanted to know where he was."

"They were talking about Dr. Hugh O'Briain," said the policewoman. "My Captain's talking with him now."

"Okay, what happened then?" said Streetwise.

"Well, the grey truck box-headed guy…" The husky glanced at the broken window. "He takes one look at us and starts yelling at the other Decepticons, saying something like, 'this is supposed to be a science convention, not a scene from _Zootopia_'-"

"The Decepticons watch Disney movies?!" Blades and First Aid chorused, turning to one another.

"That's what _I_ thought!" A human in a deer costume walked up behind the policewoman.

Streetwise seemed to tense up at the sight of the deer. No doubt he was remembering the time half an astrocycle ago when the police car had nearly run down a decidedly more quadrupedal deer one rainy night on patrol.

The policewoman shrugged. "I guess they didn't know the New Energy Tech Symposium and the Crown City FurCon were both gonna be here."

"We're camped out in the Main Hall." The deer pointed a plushy hoof at the broken window. "The scientist guys were in the West Hall."

Hot Spot took another look at the crowd, and noticed that there were a few more professionally dressed humans mixed in among the furries.

"I think I gained a couple brain cells evacuating with 'em," chuckled the deer.

The husky continued. "Anyway, box-head started bonking the other guys with the hilt of his sword, then they all turned into a bunch of cars and trucks and left."

"They didn't take anything or anyone?" said Streetwise.

"No, from what we know, they just came in, took one look at _that_…" The policewoman threw a look over her shoulder to the furries, who were slowly beginning to turn their attention to the visiting Autobots. "…and left."

"No one injured?" said First Aid.

"A few people, during the initial break-in," said the policewoman. "Nothing serious though."

"Where's Dr. O'Briain now?" said Hot Spot.

"He and my Captain are over by one of the emergency exits for the West Hall," said the policewoman, pointing to the west end of the building.

"Groove, Streetwise, go check up on him," said Hot Spot. The motorcycle and police car began to wade their way through the crowd of awed furries. "We'll be with you in a bit."

Hot Spot then took out a data slate and pulled up images of the Stunticons, kneeling down so the humans could get a good look at it. "This was 'box-head,' I'm guessing?" he said, pointing to the image of Motormaster.

"Yep," said the deer.

"_Real_ loud guy," said a non-costumed human wearing a lanyard with a badge of a cartoon skunk on it.

The deer nodded "_Real_ ticked off."

"For what it's worth…" A human in a brown fox costume walked up to the three Protectobots, "…the jittery guy – the white car with the red face – he gave me inspiration for a character."

"You've got too many characters as it is, Fudge!" groaned the husky, flicking the back of the fox's suited head, in spite of the pudginess of his own suit's hand-paws.

"But these ones – the Stunticons – they were the only Decepticons in the attack, right?"

"Far as we could see, yeah…" said the deer.

"Can I ask you guys a question?" said the fox.

"Sure," said First Aid.

Hot Spot groaned.

* * *

"Hot Spot?"

The Protectobot leader looked up to see the imposing figure of Optimus Prime looking down on him as he sat on the ridge overlooking the Ark.

"Is something wrong?" Hot Spot couldn't help but admire the Autobot Supreme Commander's ability to appear both formidable and sympathetic at the same time. "The other Protectobots seemed anxious after you came back from Crown City."

Hot Spot sighed. "They're probably still a bit unnerved after that run-in with the fuzzies- er, furries."

Optimus chuckled. "Human cultures are full of surprises, I've found. I've learned it's best to just 'roll with the punches' as they say here on Earth."

"That's actually not what's bugging me, sir," said Hot Spot, standing up to face his superior. "On the site, one of the furries asked us something that's made me… question things."

"Oh?" Optimus quirked an eyeridge. "What was that?"

"Sir…" Hot Spot mentally steeled himself. "Would you consider us anthropomorphic vehicles?"


End file.
